what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
