It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You left your phone here
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