Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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