Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
