We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
two words...techno handjob
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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