its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize