just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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