I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
hell yes lets make some ravioli
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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