I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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