It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
