sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
