Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
ugly people sure do ruin things
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
