He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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