Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
