lets start a swedish sibling band together
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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