Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Nicole vs. Life
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
