I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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