is your mom at the bar?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
