I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
