Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
