Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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