I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
