He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
