He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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