And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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