Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
