is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
