we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Pants are for mortals
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
