the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Need sex. Gaining weight.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize