I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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