Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
