wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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