Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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