You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize