Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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