I'm so fucking centered right now
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
