i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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