Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
