using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
