Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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