Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Randomize
