"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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