Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
