Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
