I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
