I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
