I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize