he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
