you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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