thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think my moral compass just broke
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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