At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
