So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
