Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
