From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
