What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
