Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
