The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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