She is in my trunk
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize