My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize