1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Porn is love you can see.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
