I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
as a side note pls kill me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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