it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
