Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Randomize
