I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
