um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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