got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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