Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize